Why I Waited
This may not be a well known fact, but I did push my date back an entire week. July was going to be all about getting back out there as a blogger and reinventing my personal brand. And, any other time, I would've deprived myself of sleep, say goodbye to any socializing, and strained my back sitting for hours on end. But, as my friend Emily will be happy to know, I decided against the norm and fell in love with a new process.
The reason I waited is because I was falling in love with the woman I've become. I was finding new ways to connect, exploring a city I've lived in for nearly 10 years, and having a little too much fun. I was taking care of myself in the forms of pampered mornings, afternoon cat naps, and movie-filled evenings. Goodness, I was treating myself to a lunch or coffee date. Me, myself, and I were having a grand time.
That doesn't mean I wasn't working on Cydneyrai every single day. In fact, I bought a new journal for the occasion. I documented what I was doing for 22 days. Whether it was the weekly #fireworkpeople chat, a new product idea I had, or simply what this new chapter would mean for me, it was jotted down. There were days where I would write the day, time, and voila, a million ideas would come flooding into this busy bee brain of mine.
On the 19th of July, I followed my heart to my home church again. It lead me to a message about dreams, about not giving up, about valuing my process. I fell to pieces in the most beautiful way. I scribbled as fast I could the things that left a mark on my soul and smiled because I knew God had been working on me all this time.
On the 23rd of July, something awe-inspiring happened. I allowed myself to dive into a letter by one of my favorite brands Hey, Sweet Pea. Again, Elise and Scott brought dreams to the forefront. Questioning what the "dream life" meant to me and what I needed to change. I cried as I poured my heart out into a page of my journal. I laughed and forgave myself. I embraced that my "dream life" wasn't so far away, I was already creating it. And that's when I decided to push back my launch date.
Look, you don't have to be perfect. Life is messy but beautifully chilling things happen when you let yourself live. Let go of what it means to be a blogger by majority standards and write your own rules. Break a few of your own deadlines and make more time for loving yourself. Let your brand be an adventure, dabbled with soul fueling moments and lessons learned.